28-year-old secondary school teacher Hannah* is “sick to death” of the “consent is like a cup of tea” video. You know the one: the animated video demonstrating the different ways a hypothetical person might want, or not want, a cup of tea, and it somehow equates to sexual consent. If you’ve missed out, you can see what it’s all about here.
Hannah, who is speaking to GLAMOUR anonymously so she can freely share her opinions about her job, says she’s passionate about sex education.
“I think the basics of sex education, especially consent and things like gender identity and sexuality, should be introduced as early as possible to avoid anyone getting hurt,” she says. “I also don’t understand why we don’t trust children to understand quite straightforward information about sex and consent. They deserve to receive information plainly instead of wrapping it up in metaphors.”
She continues, “But we have to stick to the lesson plans and structures that are given to us regarding when it comes to sex education classes. In my school, we start teaching these lessons at year nine [when children are 13-14 years old], and I think it’s a bit too late.”
The topic of sex education in secondary schools across the United Kingdom and how it’s being taught has weaved in and out of the headlines recently, as schools were recently criticised in parliament for allegedly teaching children too much. One MP, Miriam Cates, claimed children were being taught age-inappropriate sexual lessons, one of which she suggests is consent being introduced too young and in too much detail. This triggered a full enquiry into school materials, ordered by Rishi Sunak, which is currently underway.
It’s unclear where Cates’ information comes from as her claims are not sourced, but many teachers are confused by the idea that kids are learning too much. A lot of teachers wish they could do a lot more but are either limited by a lack of training and confidence, or they’re simply not allowed to teach the way want to.
35-year-old Layla* is one of those teachers. As a PSHE teacher in a secondary school, she’s also been encouraged by her headmaster to use the tea video and the milkshake video, which was developed by the education board in Australia and released on TV, but is sometimes used in the UK to explain consent to children.
“Children watch porn at an extremely young age, for God’s sake. They know what sex is. They don’t need metaphors and jokes. They can handle the real stuff.”
“I think it’s a bit patronising,” she tells GLAMOUR. “Honestly, most 14 and 15-year-olds in our school are already thinking about sex. Children watch porn at an extremely young age, for God’s sake. They know what sex is. They don’t need metaphors and jokes. They can handle the real stuff.”
Layla has taken sex education in her classroom into her own hands before. “I play bits from Sex Education [the Netflix series] as I think it has some really good lessons and information in it about consent. Plus, the plot is really engaging, so kids watch it, and learn the correct information while enjoying some drama,” she says.
“I’ve recommended lubes to teenagers who’ve told me they’re already having sex and they’re experiencing discomfort.”
“I’ve helped queer children find access to the right safe sex information; I’ve recommended lubes to teenagers who’ve told me they’re already having sex and they’re experiencing discomfort. I’ve also handed out drink stoppers to kids who’ve told me they’re going to parties and drinking under age, and warned them about date rape,” she explains.
“I have no idea if I’d get into trouble for this or not, but I wouldn’t have to have these sneaky conversations if our lessons just told it how it was,” she says.