So, you’ve decided you want to dip your toe into the world of BDSM. First of all: Congratulations. BDSM has gotten a pretty skewed rep due to bad media portrayals (please, for the love of your vagina, retire your copy of Fifty Shades) and pervading taboos that linger around the sexual unknown. BDSM isn’t just fetish gear and handcuffs (although it totally can be that if you want!). It’s actually a really great way to learn more about what your sexual preferences are. By creating a finite set of rules and restrictions, you can empower yourself to sexually explore and push your limits in a safe space (using the traffic-light safe words of red and yellow makes this even easier). This, combined with the introduction of brand-new sensations makes it really easy to learn more about your own body and sexual preferences. It’s a great tool for learning more about what makes you tick, and we highly recommend even a small foray into the BDSM world to anyone who wants to get to know themselves better.
So how exactly do you get started? If you have browsed through the plethora of BDSM sex toys and accessories and gotten immediately overwhelmed by the endless sea of implements and literal torture devices, don’t worry. We’ve broken down the five essential kink tenets — bondage, discipline, dominance, submission, and sadomasochism — along with aftercare and picked out the best BDSM toy for beginners. This way you can experiment without fear and figure out if any (or all of it!) works for you. So whether you’re interested in trying out spanking, orgasm denial, overstimulation, temperature play, or something else entirely, these five beginner BDSM sex toys are a great way to get started.