Is everyone solo dating without me? why solitude is the next big wellness trend

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Is everyone solo dating without me? why solitude is the next big wellness trend


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This is equally applicable IRL, since sometimes, we need a reminder that we don’t only exist in relation to — and for — other people. For example: Are you someone who always has to ask for advice before making a decision? Solo dating can help you unlearn that behaviour. “We all benefit from validation, and it’s not unusual to seek it. However, seeking external validation can become an issue when you’re not able to provide yourself with any internal validation,” Dr. Zarrabi says, and Zakeri agrees.

“Many have an inclination to people please — ‘I don’t care, you pick! Whatever you want is fine with me’! — solo dating challenges that and encourages us to trust ourselves,” Zakeri says. But it’s not just about trusting ourselves. “There is self-compassion, but there is also really liking yourself and enjoying time with yourself,” she clarifies. “By solo dating, you get to know yourself deeper and change your relationship with yourself.”

This practice is especially healing for anyone who might feel “unlovable” or whom society has told that some aspect of them is, Dr. Brownfield adds. “For example, some LGBTQ+ people have to learn to love themselves despite living in a society that can teach them they are unlovable,” she says. “Solo dating, therapy, and affirming relationships are all ways to help them dismantle any internalised homophobia and build self-love.”

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Finally, solo dating allows us to see that the activities we typically view as “shared” don’t have to be treated as such. “You can enjoy these activities all on your own, whether it be going to a movie, dining out, or going to a museum,” Dr. Brownfield says. “Solo dating allows you to reclaim enjoyable activities in your life, instead of them only being seen as shared activities.”

The pros of solo dating are endless, she continues. “You get to do something enjoyable without it depending on others’ availability. You get to know more about yourself. You learn what things you like or don’t like without the social pressure of other people’s opinions and without trying to impress someone.”

Solo dating enthusiasts definitely agree. “I’m an only child, so I’ve basically been taking myself on solo dates my whole life,” GLAMOUR US deputy editor Anna Moeslein says. “I think I need to recharge my social battery more than most, so it’s a way for me to get out without draining myself energetically.”

Moeslein is such a fan of the practice, in fact, that her husband once gifted her alone time. “For Valentine’s Day, my husband actually paid for me to have a staycation while he watched our infant twins at home. I sat at a bar alone and ate steak, drank wine, and read the latest Sarah J. Maas book. It was the most romantic thing he could have done for me.”

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Ces Heredia, a 31-year-old freelance writer living in Mexico who’s been going on solo dates since 2013, echoes the social battery sentiment. “As much as I love hanging out with friends and dating, being on a solo date gives me the chance to enjoy the moment and experience things out of my daily routine without having to drain my social battery,” she says. “I don’t have the pressure to speak and carry a conversation.”





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