I’m 31, I Have A $175k Joint Salary & I’m Living Paycheck To Paycheck

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I’m 31, I Have A 5k Joint Salary & I’m Living Paycheck To Paycheck


Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
Yes and no. I was a first-generation college student; both of my parents went to college but didn’t graduate so they definitely wanted better for me. I was a well-performing student and was known as the “smart” one in my family, so they expected great things from me. They thought I’d be a doctor or a lawyer. I went to a private religious undergrad far from home that gave me significant financial aid and I received Pell Grants. My parents covered nothing — not even a phone bill. I graduated with $20,000 in federal student loans and paid them off in 2020. In late 2020, I decided I wanted to get my MBA so I started that process (test prep, prep programs, etc.). I spent $12,000 in total preparation and was admitted to all seven of the MBA programs I applied to. I selected the best ranked program and received $130,000 in merit scholarships. I then took out $102,000 in private student loans and around $32,000 in credit card debt to fund the rest of tuition and living expenses for the two years. Since graduating, I’ve paid off $20,000 of the credit card debt with my sign-on bonus from my new job.

Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent(s)/guardian(s) educate you about finances?
My grandma taught me how to balance a checkbook. My dad taught me about balance transfers on credit cards. My great uncles were the ones who told me to contribute to a 401(k) immediately after starting work. I learned everything else on my own.

What was your first job and why did you get it?
My mom didn’t want me to work in high school and thought I should focus on school; however, she also knew that I wanted spending money so she let me keep child support payments beginning my junior year. I got about $50 a week. My first actual jobs were in undergrad at a campus coffee shop, as an office assistant and a caterer. I was part of the federal work-study program so it was easy for me to get jobs on campus and I liked having some spending money since my parents didn’t financially support me. Looking back, I spent all my “social time” working and I regret not leaving undergrad with more friends.

Did you worry about money growing up?
I was raised by my mom and the conversations were always around our lack of money. My childhood diet was ramen noodles and rice and gravy. We were unhoused numerous times (including evictions) and I remember having to live at an elementary school classmate’s home for the entirety of fifth grade. I would see my mom every other weekend. On the other hand, my dad — who lived 45 minutes across the city but I would only see twice a year — lived with his family in a nice two-storey home with luxury cars. I was always worried about money and always envious of the stability that my dad and half-siblings had. I never understood how he could watch me suffering when he wasn’t. About five or six years ago I went no-contact with my dad for other reasons, which is one of the best things I ever did for my mental health. I am still working out the impact of all of this in therapy to this day.

Do you worry about money now?
Yes. I made the huge financial decision to go back to school when I was debt-free and living comfortably. Now I am dealing with the consequences of that decision by having a significant amount of debt and being behind on my retirement contributions. I want financial stability but it seems so far away. Also, my mom’s financial instability concerns me. If something happens to her, I’ll be responsible for my sisters. When she can’t work anymore, I’m concerned I’ll have to support her financially. Also my partner’s income is low and I’m concerned he’ll never make more money and won’t be someone I can rely on financially if something happens to me/my income.

At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net?
At 18, when I left for college. My dad wouldn’t keep me on his health insurance or pay my phone bill anymore. I was on my own. I briefly moved back home for two months after undergrad graduation while I waited for my full-time job to start, but was forced to move out since I wasn’t working. Make it make sense. I want to say my partner is my financial safety net. I know at the very least our bills would get paid but his income is very low so we’d struggle significantly.

Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain.
No.



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