Getting rid of toxic male energy helped me and my daughter survive
Without going into too much personal detail, my daughter’s health was compromised a few years ago when, at three years old, she was diagnosed with an auto-immune disorder. I was filming out in Belfast at the time, and received a call that my daughter had been rushed to hospital. It became clear, very quickly, that I couldn’t cope with my daughter’s sudden illness and the toxic male dominance in my life at the time. I had to pull her close on that dustbin lid, and say, “Do you know what, my girl? This is it. Just you and me. Just us little chickens.” Once I had reached that conclusion, something definitely shifted in me. I made changes because I didn’t want my daughter to think that it’s OK to be dominated by men – or, indeed, by anyone – and now, living without that element of control is the only way I can conduct myself. Even though the demise of that relationship still hurts, I do believe we are both better off.
When it comes to dating now, I am quite picky. I feel like being a single mother is the greatest contraception on the planet! Yes, I could go out on dates; yes, I could go out here, there and everywhere, but I have a shorter fuse for bullshit now. I know that someone will come along who likes a strong, opinionated woman, and is inspired by it rather than terrified!
Breathwork has helped me maintain my mental health
I would say I’m definitely hitting perimenopause, and I feel like the changes that you feel mentally, hormonally and physically are, quite frankly, a bit of an asshole!
So, a while ago, I went to see somebody who does professional guided breathwork. This has been so miraculous for me when it comes to centering myself. I can get myself back to zero and be whatever I need to be, whether it’s a mummy, or a friend, or a sister, or a daughter, or a colleague. It’s a feeling of all-round contentment and I’ve achieved that through guided breathwork, which I didn’t even know existed before.
I believe in the power of manifestation and asking the universe to kindly deliver
It’s happened too many times for me not to believe in it. I’ve had two examples of seismic shifts in my life where I’ve spoken to the universe for something and it’s happened (one where I asked to work closer to home because of my daughter’s illness, and the second, a request to remove the aforementioned toxic male energy). But you really do have to mean it. It has to be focused and utterly intentional, I believe.
And who knows what it is? Who knows whether it’s “happy-clappy fairies” that exact that change? Or whether it’s something in you that reaches an apogee and says, “This is it. This is the turning point!” It is simply finding clarity and a lack of acceptance for that which you don’t want, and an acceptance of that which you do.
European Design Director: Dennis Lye
European visual director: Amelia Trevette
European beauty director and UK Deputy Editor: Camilla Kay
European editorial director: Deborah Joseph
Website Directors: Ali Pantony and Bianca London
Video Producer: Elizabeth Robert
Entertainment director and Assistant Editor: Emily Maddick
European Fashion Editor: Londie Ncube
Talent Booking: The Talent Group
Photographer: Zoltan Tombor
Stylist: Cassie Walker Graham
Hair Stylist: James Rowe at Bryant Artists
Makeup Artist: Hannah Martin at Eighteen Management
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Digital assistant: Kristos Giourgas
Stylist assistant: Liv Lawrence
Tailor: Tailored by Nancy
Production: Darling Creative