What would help instead? Less instructional comments, and more words designed to comfort. For example: ‘I’m here’, ‘I think you’re having a panic attack but I’ll stay with you until it’s over,’ or ‘give me a nod if you want me to call a doctor.’”
4. Make any suggestions gentle
GLAMOUR’s mental health columnist, writer Beth McColl, gave some honest and relatable advice in a recent column. “When dealing with a loved one [experiencing depression], it’s probably best to assume they already know most of what you’re going to suggest they do to feel better. We’ve dragged ourselves on mental health walks, carefully selected new vitamin regimes from Holland and Barrett, tweaked our diets, journaled, read the books and listened to the podcasts,” she says.
“It’s not that suggestions aren’t ever welcome, it’s just that waiting for your cue is key. Instead of giving us more to do, try to keep us accountable and on top of the strategies we’re trying already.”
5. Encourage them to seek advice
“If you think someone you know might be experiencing symptoms of a mental health problem, you should advise them to visit their GP,” says Stephen. “You could offer to go with them too, like you would if someone had a physical problem.
“Opening up to a health professional can be daunting, so Mind has developed a free guide to help prepare for the appointment, it includes advice on talking to your GP or practice nurse for the first time, perhaps you could go through this guide together. It is available here.”
6. Do your research
“Whilst there’s been significant progress in raising awareness of mental illness over the past few years in particular, I’ve found that because having a disorder isn’t something that can be ‘seen,’ some people still tend to think of it as not being as real as other conditions,” says Natasha.
“When I developed bulimia as a coping mechanism for my anxiety as a teenager, I remember wishing my arm was in a sling, just so people would acknowledge that I wasn’t OK. If you know someone who’s suffering from a mental health issue, spend time researching their condition so you can get to grips with it as much as possible.”
7. Don’t disappear
“When I went into therapy and recovery in my mid-20s, my friends and even some of my family stayed away,” says Natasha. “At the time, I felt my illness must be embarrassing for them, although in retrospect they probably just didn’t know what to say.
“Now, if one of my friends tells me they are struggling with feelings of depression, I ask myself what my reaction would be if they had the flu. I text to say I’m thinking of them and that I hope they feel better soon. I ask them if they have been to the doctor, and if so what advice they were offered. I offer to come over with a film, treats and magazines if they want me to. Perhaps most importantly though, I remind them that whilst they feel terrible now, at some point they will come up for air.”
8. Get outside
“Helping us regain entry into the world can be as small as getting us outside, diversifying what we’re seeing and experiencing beyond the bedroom ceiling, the contents of the fridge, the bathroom, the bedroom ceiling again,” Beth says.
9. Offer practical help
“We may feel too tired or low to cook diverse or nutritious meals or keep on top of household chores and living in that unkempt, crisps-for-dinner-again state will probably only deepen our feelings of shame or unhappiness,” says Beth.