HANX stocks more sustainable, vegan, female-founded fabulousness, developed in conjunction with an in-house gynaecologist and with minimal chemical additions, intended to reduce the chances of these condoms triggering a UTI. Delight us without cystitis? Yes please.
And finally, Roam. Wrap stars in clever wrapping, these vegan, Fair Rubber condoms come sealed in paper-foil packages that use 50% less plastic than traditional foils. In partnership with sexual health charity Brook, for every Roam condom bought, the brand also donates one to a community with limited access to contraception.
What about non-latex condoms? How eco-friendly are they?
Non-latex condoms made of synthetic polymers have many plus points. For the 1-6% of the population with allergies to proteins in natural rubber, they offer prophylaxis without the risk of anaphylaxis. Super-stretchy polyisoprene sheaths like SKYN also conduct heat well for a barely-there feeling, while polyurethane ones can be safely used with oil-based lubes without damage. But they’re both made from petroleum-based ingredients, so they’re about as kind to the environment as sucker-punching the WWF panda straight in the sternum.
Are natural rubber condoms compostable?
Making decomposable condoms pose a Catch 22 challenge: you want them to break down after use, NOT beforehand. While natural latex is biodegradable, the process of decomposition by microorganisms can take years, especially if extra preservatives have been added to increase performance and shelf life. If you try putting them with organic waste on your compost heap, they will likely haunt your garden like squelchy little ghosts for up to half a decade, and represent a grim choking hazard to wildlife that may dig them up.
Additionally, most condoms are coated in silicone lube because a water-based formula would diffuse out of the film in around 6 months; this non-biodegradable silicone can leach into the ground.
The best way to dispose of them, regrettably, is to wrap them and pop them in the black wheelie bin. Never flush them down the loo – whether they end up blocking pipes or turtles’ airways, the outcome is frequently bleak.
Do I need to be nervous about nitrosamines?
Nitrosamines are a class of chemicals naturally produced when latex is heated during certain manufacturing processes, including that of condoms. They are carcinogenic when absorbed by the body in significant amounts. In 2014, a flawed study funded by a condom brand was used to erroneously suggest that competitor products containing negligible levels of nitrosamines could trigger penile and cervical cancers. Other peer-reviewed research has shown this implication to be misleading, and that humans are regularly exposed to nitrosamines via food and smoke at levels 1000 to 10,000 times higher than the parts-per-billion found in some condoms.
Condoms don’t cause cancer. Exposure to nitrosamines via protected sex needn’t be high on your list of worries, despite this misconception still cropping up in eco-focused discussions. It’s worthwhile considering the potentially greater exposure of factory workers to various toxins, though, and to buy brands that strive to take care of employees at every link of their supply chain.
I don’t use condoms because I’m on the pill/I’m trying to conceive. Any green tips for me?
Yup! OVUM offer fully recyclable pregnancy test kits – just mail off your used testing sticks and wrappers in the freepost envelope supplied, and all the plastic bits will be zapped with microwaves in a high-temperature process called pyrolysis, breaking them down into an oil state that can be reused.
Boots will recycle blister packs from any medication, including the contraceptive pill, and give you Advantage Card points in return. Bootiful.
Earth-loving lube
The Little Mermaid’s Sebastian the Crab sang about things being “better down where it’s wetter” – but if your lube contains petrochemicals, it might be destroying his undersea habitat while moistening your undercarriage. Ingredients like polyethylene glycol, propylene glycol, liquidum paraffinum and petrolatum are derived from petroleum, the extraction of which is linked to marine oil spills, ecosystem disruption and the release of greenhouse gases. Maybe you don’t want that to be Part Of Your World…
However, a sticking point of developing lubes without petrochemicals is that they can end up being, well, sticky. Formulas have come a long way from the days of being as tacky as a Brazilian waxer’s fingernails after a fully-booked Back, Sack ‘n’ Crack day, though, and there are now luscious, fairly long-lasting and largely organic blends with ingredients lists that sound like they were stirred up by fairies rather than robots. Some of my favourites include:
YES: I no cap, all-caps LOVE this company’s products. Certified organic by the Soil Association,
Sliquid Organics Natural Gel Lubricant
their plant-based components are grown on farms that have 44% more birds and five times as much wild greenery as industrial plantations. You can get certain YES lubes and vaginal moisturisers on prescription from the NHS to help relieve the side-effects of chemotherapy, menopause, and other health challenges, which can be cheaper than buying direct.
The Natural Love Company: You can become a delightfully slippery customer by buying these 99.2% organic gels either in a compostable, plant-based-plastic 100ml bottle, or in a big ol’ 300ml aluminium pump-top bad boi designed to be refilled from pouches. Natural fruit extract gives the Wild Strawberry variety a delicate flavour – kinda like the DASH of water-based lubricants.
Sliquid Organics: Aloe, hibiscus, flax, sunflower seed, green tea… this lube sounds more like something you’d sip than use to add slip. Just like my thighs, it’s pleasingly thick, providing better cushioning than the bed from The Princess And The Pea.
A lot of people go nuts for coconut oil – is that a good green lube choice?
Coconut oil has a lovely bunch of benefits: it’s all natural, doesn’t dry out in a jiffy and can be used to hydrate hair, nails or skin too. Additionally, it makes your booty smell like a Bounty. Delish.
But beware! As with all oils, it can damage latex condoms. Plus, if you’re prone to vaginal infections or imbalances, its inherent antibacterial and antifungal properties can mess with your pH and trigger upsets like Bacterial Vaginosis (BV) or thrush.
Sustainable sex toys
In the past, eco-focused sex toys have had their hearts in the right place, but largely failed to effectively stimulate any other part of the body. There was a wind-up vibrator called the Earth Angel that demanded eight minutes of hand-cranking, like a miniature air raid siren, and a solar-powered bullet that had to remain attached to its charging panel to work.
Nowadays, both the tech and the aesthetics are becoming as sophisticated and upmarket as Posh Spice’s wet dreams. Here is a selection of environmentally-conscious ways to get yourself off, for those who don’t want to limit themselves to (ahem) manual ‘green fingers’:
Womanizer: The original inventor of clitoral ‘Pleasure Air’ pulse stimulation, the fact that this company have managed to change the connotations of the word ‘Womanizer’ from egregiously negative to enthusiastically positive in the minds of so many people speaks to the impact of its creations.
As well as boasting trademark features like Smart Silence — this clitoral vibrator will only turn on when in contact with skin, preserving battery life, and means you don’t have to fumble for the off switch if your passion session is interrupted — the Eco contains a replaceable rechargeable battery, and can be fully disassembled into individual parts for repair or recycling.
The ‘plastic’ elements are actually built from Biolene: a material mostly derived from corn starch. This type of bioplastic is biodegradable, and can even be composted by an industrial plant that optimises temperature, humidity and airflow to assist its breakdown by microbes into soil. Unfortunately, not everywhere has the infrastructure and regulatory safeguards in place to properly handle various bioplastics yet, so at the mo the ones you chuck will likely still end up in landfill, rotting g-r-a-d-u-a-l-l-y… but that’s still miles better than sitting there forever.
Love Not War: LNW has truly strived to tick every planet-prudent box it can — including the boxes its toys are housed in, which are made of Forest Stewardship Council-approved brown cardboard, printed with soy ink and sealed with eco-friendly glue.
Manufactured in a mainly hydroelectricity-driven factory, its vibrators are crafted using recycled aluminium and designed with one universal, rechargeable base compatible with various interchangeable screw-on heads – so you can build a whole suite of playthings while only needing one motor. Similar switch-n-swap toys I’ve tried in years gone by have suffered from their motors being too weak to successfully transmit vibrations through larger wand/longer probe attachments, but Love Not War are fighting the good fight against this issue.
Want to give a special sex gift that feels luxurious, libidinous and virtuous? Beautifully curated sex site SheSpot offers free personalised engraving on certain LNW models.
My ancient rabbit is hopping lamely on its last legs, my bullet vibe is shot, and my wand is more ‘tragic’ than ‘magic’ because it won’t hold a charge. Can I recycled old or broken sex toys?
Anything with a plug, battery or cable can be sent for recycling in the UK – including electric sex toys, but most people are either unaware of this or too embarrassed to do the right thing, even though they wouldn’t feel the same shame about other bodily devices such as sonic toothbrushes, bikini line hair trimmers or electric foot files.
Refurbished electronics specialists Back Market recently teamed up with erotic toy company Smile Makers Collection on a campaign to encourage change, after discovering that one in three people just chuck their spent bullets, blown suckers and dead rabbits in the household bin. 15% of people surveyed said they keep outdated and defective sex toys in storage gathering dust ad infinitum, yet 59% pledged that they would recycle erotic gadgets if only they knew how.
How to recycle unwanted sex toys:
- Head to Recycle Your Electricals and enter your postcode.
- Select ‘Vibrator’ when asked what electrical item you want to recycle – yes, it’s an official category! All toys that take batteries, recharge, or have a lead are eligible – if it’s erotic and electric, it counts.
- Pop your clean toy in a bag for discretion and take it to the local recycling point you’re directed to. Depending on where you live, you might be told that small electricals can be picked up from your home for you, with your recycling bins – easy as pie.
- Do remember to take any disposable batteries out of your old buddy before you wave goodbye. These are recycled separately, and the same site in Step 1 can help you with that too. Sorted.
- Reward yourself for helping save the planet with a new toy that will rock your world. Use the code Back20 at Smile Makers Collection for 20% off when you spend £100.
I bought a toy, tried it a couple of times, and it doesn’t tickle my pickle. It’s in perfect condition – can I resell it rather than trying to recycle it?
The idea of buying a secondhand sex toy – an ‘andique’, if you will – gives a lot of people the superstrength ick. Yet others rationalise that most modern toys can be scrupulously sterilised (which is exactly what Dominatrixes and other professional sex workers do between clients rather than buying new toys for each booking); and if you’re after, say, a glass probe, a stainless steel plug or a silicone dildo, you don’t need to worry about the safety of purchasing used electricals.
Most official e-commerce sites like ebay insist that sex toys must be new and in their original packaging, but there’s a bustling trade on Reddit’s r/usedsextoys forum, which has more than 46,000 members. You can also buy and sell (very literally) pre-loved toys at in-person meets such as Charmskool’s pop-ups and London Alternative Market.
To avoid splashing cash on a dud dild that just doesn’t suit your body and tastes in the first place, read plenty of reviews before you purchase – Lovehoney’s site is superb for this. And of course, follow expert sex-spurts like me.
Eco-conscious dating
Research from dating site Plenty of Fish discovered that 39% of singles say finding someone who cares about the environment is high on their list of priorities in a lover — even more so than physical appearance (23%) or profession (7%).
‘Green screening’ describes the act of assessing a potential match’s profile for clues as to their eco-friendliness and views on topics like climate change, while ‘eco dumping’ (in a romantic context) involves recycling someone from ‘date’ to ‘mate’ because they’re not sufficiently eco-conscious to make a suitable long-term companion.
If you’re on the hunt for a partner in crime who doesn’t commit crimes against the planet, and want to weed out anyone who doesn’t eat a plant-based diet, Grazer is a ‘meatless matchmaking’ app which invites you to ‘put your personality on a plate’, while Veggly believes veganism is about sharing values, not just veggie options on dinner dates. Larger, broader-audience apps like Bumble also allow you to signal your interest in environmentalism by adding a badge to your profile.
What I’d like to know is: why on earth hasn’t someone founded an eco-minded social app called Carbon Dating?!