Her story serves as a sobering reminder that our culture often fails to empower young women in their sexuality — in fact, more often than not, it’s the reverse. And as awkward and intimate as watching sex therapy on out screens may be, seeing Emma begin to open up and accept her own worth as a sexual young woman is powerful.
We spoke to Emma about her experiences with sex before the show and her journey on Virgin Island.
Channel 4
Before you went on Virgin Island, what did the word “virgin” mean to you?
It was something which I felt singled out by at first. And then I think you just become used to the word. It becomes numb. It kind of loses its value. And the word “virgin” becomes a label for you as a person. But I wanted to steer away from that, because I knew there was more for me than just being a virgin.
On the show, you open up about your insecurities within the context of sex. Where did that come from?
There was a lot. I think when I was growing up – around 12 or 13 – the social media world was just coming into play. You would see the Kardashians or people like that getting filler or BBLs. And then I kind of started to think, “Oh, my God, is this the only way that I’m going to be able to become beautiful?” I would think, “Oh, these people on Instagram – they’re not single, they don’t struggle with intimacy, they don’t have insecurities because they are idolised by men. They don’t have any issues or worries about getting a man because they are so beautiful, and for them, it’s easy.”
And then a lot of my friends were showing me porn quite young. That was also quite terrifying, because it’s like, “Wait, this is a high amount of intimate exposure that I received very young. So, obviously that initiated the uncomfortable feelings around intimacy because it was something that I thought, “I know that we shouldn’t be doing this or talking about this, but it’s happening.” I think a lot of it just comes from being insecure – being uncomfortable about the idea of intimacy, and not wanting to explore that for myself. It just seemed like this big, horrible volcano that I didn’t want to explode. It was something that I just didn’t want to go near, I didn’t want to touch.