Sorry, but Rachel Weisz is way too hot for her role in Vladimir

Jonas’ novel that inspired the series is all about bodies. The “firm cheeks” and toned “dancer’s legs” of Cynthia. The “pencil legs, rounded hips” and “lean flat stomach” of a young female student. The “firm and hirsute” chest of Vladimir. And, of course, Weisz’s character, with “webbing” around her eyes, “frowning jowls” and a “shrivelled space between her clavicles.”

To its credit, the show does do a good job of evoking M’s obsessive comparisons of her own aging body to the hard, smooth, firm bodies of the young new profs. We see her eyes linger on his calves, or on her midriff peeking out above her jeans.

But all of this body-fixation only works if we are also confronted with a woman who looks… well… like a regular middle-aged person. And there’s no denying that Weisz is objectively, conventionally hot. Aside from a few fine lines, her face is taut. (Those cheekbones!) She also bears all of the conventional markers we have come to associate with youthful beauty. She is thin. She has long, flowing dark brown hair. She has the most beautiful eyes you’ve ever seen. So, when she complains about her decrepit, sagging body, we hardly believe her.

And, as much I love seeing Weisz on my screen, it is a shame. After all, this is a story that should confront us with questions about why we disvalue older female bodies. Why we may feel uncomfortable about the idea of a young, tight male torso rubbing up against sagging, wrinkled boobs.

In the show, these are questions that are only really offered up through words — visually, with Weisz on our screens, we simply see two hotties getting it on. It’s a wasted opportunity for something that could have been truly transgressive, confronting and interesting. It’s also a wasted opportunity to remind us all that real, aging bodies are also beautiful, even if they aren’t conventionally hot.

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