The question of post-breakup friendship feels tired at this point. We likely all know someone who’s managed to maintain a positive relationship with their ex. There are arguably huge caveats, such as the nature of the breakup, the depth of the relationship, and if there are children involved. In my own case, my previous relationship was toxic and required a significant amount of healing afterward. Like Maya and Stormzy’s seemingly amicable split, ours was initially on good terms. But things quickly turned very sour. We broke up because we were exhausted from trying to fix the numerous issues in our relationship. At the time, we were both sad about the breakup and naively believed that staying friends would make it less painful. We thought we could keep in touch, catch up, and maybe even hang out once things settled. However, this optimism lasted only about three weeks before the same toxic patterns reappeared. It was so jarring for me because we weren’t together anymore. Through months of conversations with close friends, the guidance of a therapist, and prayer; I came to understand that my desire to remain friends stemmed from an unhealthy place. Now reflecting back, I recognize — and continue to believe — that being friends with my ex wouldn’t be good for me.