Is ‘masterdating’ the most empowering dating trend of 2023?

No matter how much we’re into single empowerment, sometimes, dating as a singleton sucks — swiping though a sea of increasingly problematic potential partners, staring blankly into the eyes of a tech bro at a bar counting down the minutes before you can make a polite exit, spending Friday night alone, while all of your friends seem to be out with their longterm partners.

Unsurprisingly, some women have had enough of it all. Introducing “masterdating.”

What is masterdating, anyway?

Masterdating is the latest trend to sweep TikTok’s dating scene. A play on the words dating and — well — masturbating, the term refers to, you guessed it, going solo — in the dating field, that is!

We spoke to dating expert Melissa Stone about the phenomenon. “‘Masterdating’ is a term used to refer to the practice of spending quality time alone, engaging in self-care, and enjoying one’s own company,” she tells us. “It might involve intentionally taking yourself out on dates, doing activities you enjoy, exploring new places, or simply dedicating time to self-reflection and personal growth.”

Why it can be good to take yourself on a solo date from time to time

Like masturbation — which can be very good for you, but that’s a story for another time — masterdating is a premise that revolves around giving yourself all of the attention and love that a partner would give you — but rather than being sexual, it’s simply the attention you’d get on an ideal date.

What’s great about masterdating in comparison to regular dating is that you are in control. You get to pick the restaurant, the food, the movie, the curfew — everything. Which can be pretty great. After all, you probably think you have great taste!

“Taking yourself on a solo date from time to time can have several benefits for your overall well-being and personal growth,” says Stone. A few include:

• Self-discovery: Spending time alone allows you to connect with yourself on a deeper level. It gives you the opportunity to explore your interests, passions, and desires without external influences. This self-discovery can lead to a better understanding of who you are and what brings you joy.
• Independence: Taking yourself on a solo date fosters a sense of independence and self-reliance. It helps you become comfortable with your own company and reduces any need for validation or comfort from other people for your happiness.