This article references image-based abuse.
“The group chat got dark; it got darker than dark,” one TikTok creator says to the camera. He’s talking about ‘Are we dating the same girl?’, a recent Telegram channel leaking non-consensual intimate images of women. “Your sister, your mum, even probably you were in that group chat,” he says. “Some girls were getting repeatedly [posted] in there – it was mad.”
In the last few weeks, reports circulated online about the existence of these chats. The aforementioned group contained tens of thousands of members. Hannah, one X user who posted in disgust about them, tells GLAMOUR she saw screenshots of intimate images and men incorrectly labelling some women as sex workers.
Some of the photos, she claims, were of girls as young as 13. These were being shared “to no protest from the thousands of other men in the chat.” Although there were many TikToks talking about the groups negatively, “the comments would be men sharing links to the group, or copycat ones.” She adds: “It’s clear that these men were revelling in destroying the lives and reputation of women.”
Zara*, who is based in the US, also saw intimate images when she and a friend scrolled through one chat. “We saw women and what looked like minors’ private photos,” she says. “Men and young boys were having disgusting conversations about women and their bodies. There were girls’ social media pictures with semen edited over their faces. The messages were cruel and foul – it was like it was a big joke, them laughing and complimenting each other. Some messages were disturbing, talking about sexual assault and rape. [The messages] were coming a mile a minute and being deleted almost as fast.”
London-based Isabel* saw “nearly 10,000 messages exchanged” in one chat, she says. “It was a mixture of screen grabs from social media profiles and nudes or explicit videos of women engaging in oral sex and intercourse.”
Demi Gristina, a content creator, saw one called ‘South London girls chat.’ People in it were hiding behind fake names, photos and phone numbers, she says. After creating a TikTok warning women about it, a friend of hers got in touch: Demi had been posted in one of the chats. “Luckily, no one had any information to share [about me],” she says. “But I was very confused and concerned because I haven’t been actively dating, so why does this mystery man need to find out information about me, if we aren’t talking?”
These groups are a poorly-thought-out reaction to the ‘Are we dating the same guy?’ Facebook pages, originally set up by women to uncover dangerous red flags. They were set up as an extension of Clare’s Law – the scheme that enables the police to release information about any previous history of violence or abuse.
Where Clare’s Law doesn’t quite cut it, though, is the fact that violence and abuse are often not reported, or justice isn’t served through court. Although the women’s groups are often populated with posts from suspicious partners sniffing out infidelity, they have also delivered on helping to keep women safe. Hannah found out that a man that she was talking to had killed someone. “The women’s group has literally saved lives,” she said.