It was never expressly stated, but both of my parents went to college and it was assumed my brother and I would as well. I went to a state school for my undergrad, and an online state school for my Master’s degree. There were some detours in the bachelors process because I was a wild ass and partied way to much, nearly got kicked out, and then used the military to straighten myself out after my freshman year. I went back to school post deployment to finish my bachelors. I did have a college fund that my grandparents set up for me with around $20,000 in it. I spent it mostly on a car or to pay off credit cards when I overspent. It dwindled over time. I still have some of it in an investment account though. I had a scholarship in undergrad that covered books, and used a combo of tuition assistance through the national guard and my GI bill benefit to cover both my bachelors and Master’s degree.
Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent(s) educate you about finances?
Money was openly discussed, partially because it was pretty tight when I was little. My dad was a cop and my mom is a medical technician and they were both early shift workers. They would pick up extra shifts when we needed to make ends meet. The core lesson was to not spend what you don’t have — my family has a very conservative view on debt which I have carried into adulthood. My grandfather also liked to educate my brother and I on finances by encouraging us to think about retirement early on in our lives, and to understand the value of investing and money growing over time. My brother is the better saver out of us, but after a few overspending situations when I was young I figured it out. I would say I’m the least fiscally conservative of my family. I pay for nice vacations and was willing to use my savings on a renovation — my brother thinks I am insane for it but it is within my means.
What was your first job and why did you get it?
My first job was selling wild game summer sausage and hot sauce to tourists in a VERY niche retail store. I got that job the week I turned 16 and had transportation to reliably get to and from work. I was expected to earn my own spending money and babysitting gigs weren’t that lucrative. I traded up to selling rodeo tickets a few weeks later and worked in a cowboy hat shop on weekends during the school year for spending money. I have always had a job or been actively job hunting since then (I had a really miserable time finding a job after moving with my now-ex to New Mexico).
Did you worry about money growing up?
Yes, I knew we were living paycheck to paycheck a lot of the time. However, that being said, my parents actively saved for retirement and we probably could have been a bit more comfortable if they were less responsible about that. We largely ate elk instead of store bought meat — it was considerably better financially to get an elk every autumn and live off of that than try and purchase meat from the grocery store. I thought beef was a total luxury. I did dance lessons and was acutely aware that extra on-call shifts paid for it. Around the time I was going into high school, my dad became the undersheriff and my mom was promoted into management, so money became less of a worry. My friends were definitely better off than I was but it was less acute.
Do you worry about money now?
Yes. This year, I got a divorce and I let my ex-husband keep the house (which had about $200k in equity), a car, and gave up my rights to his pension and military retirement. So, I had to reevaluate my financial position (Life advice: don’t roll over in the divorce process like I did, but trauma can make you do dumb things). Luckily, I had saved very well to be able to walk away and my current job was a $70k pay increase. I feel a bit behind in retirement savings but I try to keep in mind that this income level is really fresh. Before I finished grad school I was making around $32k a year and have seen my income climb quite a bit over the last seven-ish years. My financial planner has assured me I’m fine, but I really want to rebuild my savings and continue to save aggressively for retirement.
At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net?
I became financially responsible at 18, minus health insurance and my cell phone. I was on my parents’ insurance off and on until I aged out, and they paid for my phone until I met my ex-husband and got on his phone plan. I do know that I could fall back on my parents for help if I needed to, but I never want to need to ask for that. They did inherit, what is to our family a lot of money, last year when my grandmother passed away and would be able to help me out (thanks great grandparents for saving up a small nest egg!)
Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain.
I receive a passive $774 monthly from the VA, and as of this year get an annual check for whatever the IRS gifting limit is. This year was $38,000 — basically the only reason I was able to buy the house and finance the remodel in the same year. My grandparents sat on the money while we struggled and my parents have decided to gift it away annually so my brother and I have it while we are young(ish). I’m going to put it into the house throughout 2027, and then my financial planner is going to do whatever he does with it, and eventually my brother’s kids will inherit it or I will be the ‘cool gift money aunt’ so they put me in one of the nice care homes.