The hidden child longs to be seen, heard and acknowledged. They yearn for a feeling of safety. They just want to curl up in the palm of our hand, on our lap or in our heart and be loved and protected by us for the rest of our days here. And to have fun.
I didn’t understand this for a long time. I thought I could keep going without looking back. That if I just tried hard enough to be the “together” version of myself – in control, capable, put-together – I could outrun the ache. But the ache is the child. She doesn’t go away.
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One of the most profound healing moments I’ve ever witnessed – and experienced – came when I truly met my inner child for the first time. Not intellectually, but energetically, emotionally. With my whole heart.
During this work, I took myself back to the front door of my childhood home. I visualised walking through it and finding the little me inside – around eight years old. I saw what she was wearing, what her face looked like. I sat beside her. I asked her how she was. And she told me.
She told me she was tired. She was confused. She felt like she had to keep it all together. She wanted to be held. She wanted to be loved just for being her – not for being good or strong or quiet or helpful. She wanted to be held in her messy feelings and told it was okay to feel them. I put my arms around her. I promised to never leave her again.
When we are disconnected from this younger part of ourselves, it shows up everywhere: in the partners we choose, the boundaries we don’t set, the anxiety that flares when we’re misunderstood. We replay patterns and then blame ourselves for them. But what we’re really doing is operating from an old wound, a version of ourselves that simply wants to feel safe enough to let love in.
And this is the key: when you reconnect with your inner child, your capacity to give and receive love radically shifts. You don’t need to perform anymore. You don’t need to people please to feel worthy. You start to speak your truth – not to lash out or test people, but to honour yourself. You begin to see vulnerability not as weakness, but as a portal to intimacy. You also start to become the partner – and friend – you’ve always wanted. More grounded. More playful. More alive.
Love and compassion are what unlock this door. When we walk full circle back into the arms of love, we realise it didn’t go anywhere. It’s been here all along – waiting for us to return.
So, if you feel stuck in your relationships, like love never quite lands the way you want it to – start by turning inward. Ask yourself: how did I need to be loved when I was younger? What did I not get to say? Who do I still need to forgive? And most importantly: can I start showing up now in the way I always needed someone else to?
Because you can. And when you do, it changes everything.
Extracted from Manifest Your True Essence by Estelle Bingham (Hay House, £14.99)