Fadhina, Yale University
What surprised you about yourself when you started college? Being the only child of a single mother, I was most surprised about my independence. Back home, I was so dependent on my mother; it was always us against the world so I was worried about how well I would be able to adjust without her physical presence. The minute my mother left me at college, I was hit with a wave of sadness and immediately I came to the realization that it was important for me to continue doing all of the things I love, even if it meant doing so alone. I started to grow this beautiful and unwavering confidence in my own thoughts, perceptions and beliefs that I did not know I was capable of. I was also able to embark on a spiritual journey that I never would have thought I was capable of if I wasn’t placed in the college environment.
What was the hardest adjustment you had to make in college? I had to teach myself to place my physical and mental health before all. In high school there was always this “go, go, go” mentality. I remember there were moments in which my mother was so worried about my overflowing plate, insane sleeping habits, super-high anxiety levels and unwillingness to slow down, and I thought that she was the unreasonable one. When I got to college, burnout hit me like a truck. I realized that involvement in two clubs/extracurriculars, as opposed to the 10 in high school, was right at my carrying capacity. I realized that the less than six hours of sleep that I was so accustomed to running on in high school led to my crashing in college. I had to accept the nature of being a human being, in that I actually needed to care for myself and I could only do so much.
Who were the people and the spaces that uplifted you during your college experience? My closest friends and loved ones from back home, roommate, suitemates and friends that I made during my first year. They were with me through every struggle, every accomplishment, every dance show, every event hosted, every low point, every joyful moment and every point of growth.
The Black community at Yale was definitely a space that uplifted me in every aspect of my college experience… Whether that was through mentorship, prayer, curating a four-year plan, putting me on to research opportunities, helping me navigate gatekept systems, celebrating successes, reminders to remain faithful in the Lord, the validation of microaggressive experiences, reassuring glances in class when we are so often the minority or simply introducing me to a space where we could be in each other’s presence.
Because of the richness of the Black community, I tend to forget that I attend a predominantly white institution. I am constantly reminded there are people who have my back and are wishing for my success. To find a space where you’re able to experience unequivocal support and learn so many different ways to reciprocate is a blessing.