And though there’s the potential for porn to really damage our body image, particularly when it comes to genitals, I can confidently say Hollywood and social media fucked my relationship with my body as a teen way more than porn did.
Still, it does feel like free hardcore porn does more harm than good for most young people. When almost half of young people believe girls expect sex to involve physical aggression, it’s clear we need to take action to address this.
So, what can we do about this? Well, allow me to put my sex nerd hat on for a minute.
The Online Safety Bill plans to protect young people by further regulating online platforms hosting adult content (though how they’ll actually be able to achieve this is another matter). But I believe our efforts need to focus on education and informed, open conversations, just as much as, maybe even more than, tech legislation.
When I worked for the sexual health charity Brook and taught lessons about porn in a shame-free, open way, the surprise, intrigue, and relief on young people’s faces was remarkable. We cannot underestimate the power of giving teenagers permission to talk and think critically about porn. Relationship and sex education (RSE) is an essential ingredient in helping young people foster more positive relationships with sex, intimacy, and porn.
According to the Sexual Education Forum, school is the number one place where young people want to learn about sex (above their parents or in healthcare settings). So alongside legislation like the Online Safety Bill, the government must provide adequate funding and incentives for schools to deliver high-quality RSE. I realise that’s highly unlikely with our current government, but a girl can dream.
We can’t shy away from having these conversations, even if they’re awkward. If young people are accessing porn earlier than 13, we’ve got to reach them earlier. RSE shouldn’t be trying to catch up with the reality of young people’s lives, it should be preventative, bringing topics to young people before they may be experiencing them, so they’re better equipped to navigate them when they arise.
My old college Eliza Bell from Brook’s has got my back on this. “We need to be talking to young people so that they are prepared, and if they are watching porn it can be done with a critical eye and the understanding that this is not real life,” she says. “We need to create safe spaces for them to be able to find out about sex and relationships and ask questions that they want answers too.”