Throughout my childhood, the expectation to go to college came solely from me. My success in school (former gifted kid, IYKYK), coupled with the fact that I would be the first person in my entire family, immediate and extended, to go to college, fed into a perceived “requirement” to do well enough to be accepted and graduate. My parents were encouraging in my academic ambitions, but neither one had gone to college and so they did not pressure me too much. My parents also did not save for my college and they were not in a financial position to help pay, so not only did I have the imaginary pressure of getting into college, but I had to figure out a way to pay for it myself. I was able to scrounge together enough scholarships to get a free ride at an out of state public school, where I earned two bachelor degrees in four years. A few years later I decided to pivot my career ambitions to finance (my undergrad degrees are both liberal arts degrees and I originally wanted to go into social work), and I got a master’s in finance. I took out roughly $50,000 in student loans to pay for it, and I paid off the loans in 2019.
Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent(s) educate you about finances?
My dad was in the military, so growing up we moved around a lot, which did a good job at hiding the struggles my parents were facing financially, at least from my perspective. Once my dad retired and we moved back to my parents’ home state, I was in high school and old enough to be a sounding board for my mom’s frustrations and fears with money, which was eye opening. My parents grew up poor and tended to spend everything and save nothing, which meant that when unexpected bills came, it would wipe the legs out from underneath them. My mom wanted to save money but my dad liked to spend as much as he made, which caused a lot of fights and stress. I learned financial literacy on my own, through reading and by using my parents as an example of what not to do. They are doing better now, but my dad wants to retire and they have no savings.
What was your first job and why did you get it?
When I was 12, I would babysit for some of the people my dad worked with for pocket change. When I turned 14, I was able to get my first part-time job at a bakery in the summer. At 15, I moved on to the one fast-food chain in my hometown, where I worked part time during the school year and full time in the summer until college. I also worked full time in college at the same fast-food chain, just in a different state.
Did you worry about money growing up?
I did not actively worry about money until I was in high school and my mom began to open up to me about how bad things were. However, looking back on when I was younger, I had to have known subconsciously that things were not that great, since I knew not to ask for extras. We never went on vacation (moving around per military orders were our vacations/trips). We never went without food. When I was in college my dad quit his job suddenly and I had to help my mom with their mortgage and food for my brother and sister; for about six months, I sent my mom $500 per month, and worked extra shifts (and accumulated credit card debt) to pay for it.
Do you worry about money now?
All the time. My husband M. and I have worked very hard to get to the position we are now, but I do not think that I know financial peace, even though our only debt is our mortgage and we have healthy savings. I have been the breadwinner in our marriage since my husband left the military in 2022, and while I do not mind making most of the money, I have a lot of stress being the only one employed, especially with the labor market as it is right now. M. will be done with his program next spring, and his program has a stellar track record of almost 100% job placement, with starting positions around $80,000. I would like to think once he is settled into his new career, I will be able to let out the breath that I have been holding for the past few years, but I know my brain will just move the goal post and I will fixate on something else.
At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net?
I became financially independent when I moved out of state for college at 18. If M. and I ever found ourselves in dire financial straits, we would always have a place to stay at my parents’ house or M.’s parents’ house, but neither side of the family has the cash to assist monetarily, nor would we ask them to.
Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain.
No, for both myself and my husband.