I’m 35, I Make £380K & I’m Feeling Anxious About Job Stability

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I’m 35, I Make £380K & I’m Feeling Anxious About Job Stability


American Express Platinum: $695
American Express Gold: $350
Condo insurance: $460

Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
Oh, absolutely! My parents sent me to the US for high school with the expectation that I would attend college here — not only any college, but a top college. No pressure, right? Adjusting to life in a new country was challenging enough without the added weight of “You better get into a top university.” Luckily, they covered my college tuition, housing, food, and all those random expenses from college, like overpriced textbooks and my daily Starbucks coffee. They did the same for my brother, too. Growing up, they’d dreamed of studying in America but couldn’t do it financially, so they saved their money to make sure we could live the dream instead. I joke that our diplomas are the two supercars they never bought.

Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent(s)/guardian(s) educate you about finances?
Growing up, conversations about money with my parents were pretty much nonexistent — unless you count the classic “We can’t afford that” speech. When we first moved to the US, our family ended up living off savings and stretching every penny. We lived in apartments that were more “cozy” than “luxurious,” and I remember sleeping on a mattress on the floor. My wardrobe was pieced together from thrift stores and TJ Maxx. A few years later, my dad returned to our home country to return to his higher paying job, but we kept the frugality. So you can imagine my surprise when I was applying to colleges and stumbled upon the revelation that my parents had saved up enough to cover my college tuition and my brother’s.

What was your first job and why did you get it?
My first job was in IT at my college. I got it so that I could have some spending money. My parents were covering most of my expenses but I felt guilty spending fun money when they were so frugal. I earned a whopping $9 an hour and worked about 15-20 hours a week — enough to cover my food cravings and my newfound obsession with eating out and higher-end makeup.

Did you worry about money growing up?
I was always worried about money growing up! My parents never spent any money so I genuinely thought we were broke. They made sure we were always fed and could go on school trips, but anything beyond that felt like a luxury. I had a little cash for church trips and after-school snacks, but forget about splurging on fun stuff! We had one childhood vacation my entire life — to Niagara Falls. Interestingly, most of my close friends were in the same boat so it felt pretty normal. Our public high school had its fair share of cliques, and you could definitely spot the groups based on how much money students were willing to flaunt. I remember thinking, Wow, it must be nice to spend money on brand-name clothes!

Do you worry about money now?
I don’t really worry about money but I do often wonder if I can keep up the lifestyle I’ve grown fond of. My salary has doubled in the past three years, which is fantastic, but let’s just say my spending habits have also gone up — hello, lifestyle creep! Adding onto that, I do have a bit of healthcare anxiety, especially after going through cancer treatment a few years ago (don’t worry, I’m fine now). I do have to see an expensive specialist every year for follow-ups, which keeps me on my toes. I can’t help but worry about the “what ifs” — like, what if I get too sick to work or need to cover pricey treatments? It’s a balancing act between enjoying life and keeping an eye on the future.

At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net?
I officially became financially responsible for myself at 22, when I landed my first job out of college and was making a cool $75,000 with a 10% bonus. At the time, it felt like winning the lottery. To save money, I shared a three-bedroom apartment with three other girls — yes, I even shared a room. It was kind of like living in a sitcom! I’ve built my own safety net with my assets, and I owe a big thank you to Reddit for that. I max out my 401(k) and invested in ETFs, and everything I’ve learned about money comes from the wise folks on r/personalfinance. That said, I also know I have my parents to lean on if things get tough. Thanks to my Asian upbringing, our finances are pretty intertwined so if they ever need help, I’m there for them, too.

Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain.
Yes, I’ve definitely benefited from my parents’ generosity. They covered my college tuition and helped with the down payment on my condo. During the early days of the COVID-19 pandemic, I had a roommate who was not being super careful while I was trying to stay responsible. With the interest rate as low as it was, my parents gave me the funds to move out and buy my own place. They wanted me to build equity instead of just renting. I understand this is very privileged. However, there’s an unspoken expectation in my Asian upbringing that when my parents retire, I’ll be there to support them. They have money for retirement but they’re also relying on me.



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