The trip itself is the hardest part to put into words. If I tried to describe here what I saw during that six hour journey, it might sound random and crazy – but it was neither. As we lay side-by-side, blindfolded in a cosy hotel bed, we embarked on separate journeys that addressed frightening traumas our bodies were carrying, past narratives and questions we had relating to our identity and self.
Music created an emotional journey for us during our mushroom trip. The playlist was a blend of nature-inspired sounds, meditative tones and gentle electronic rhythms. I now understand why indigenous healers believe it to be a sacred way to reach unconscious realms during trips. Visually, it was bright and vivid for me, with memories and life narratives seen through colours and elements like water. It was as if the realm of my consciousness had exploded. We barely featured in each other’s trips, but it was enough to affirm our relationship. The experience brought us both a fresh perspective, allowing us to see our relationship from new angles and understand our individual roles clearer. This newfound clarity and appreciation for each other helped strengthen our bond, even though our journeys were largely separate. Only towards the end did we reach out through the duvet covers to find each other’s hand, reconnecting in a deep and intimate way.
Sarah sat in the room, guiding us the whole time, and we felt supported by her presence. She provided grounding and reassurance, offering gentle prompts and insights that helped navigate the depths of our experiences together. She was a constant reminder during moments of need that we were healing.
The results
My trip brought up a lot of trauma that I am now refreshingly aware of. This awareness is not always easy, but it’s absolutely necessary. I understand now how my communication with my partner and my triggers are affected by my own experiences — those little arguments aren’t really about the washing. I have resurfaced from a lot of my pain and am actively healing. For me, this involves journaling, consistently taking time for myself even as a mother (this is non-negotiable), moving my body, and finding time to enjoy life.
I remember our first argument after we arrived back. It was one of those petty squabbles, but the point was how quickly we bounced back after it – it didn’t cause a bridge between us and we managed to communicate our feelings with understanding for the other person. We moved through it with love.
It’s worth mentioning that after our trip my partner’s aura completely changed. He had struggled with work-life balance and other emotional challenges for the better part of our relationship, and it took him away from his true self. The way he is now is the person I remember meeting all those years ago – caring, confident and spontaneous. Even though our relationship will never look like it did before, we are carving out a version that we are both excited about, a version that means we can appreciate even the woes of our love.
Sarah told us early on about her love of psychedelics and how they had helped her transcend into different worlds, guiding her to her present moment. Hearing this was euphoric, because it confirmed something for me that I believe we all need to remember – peace is within us. I’ve come out the other side feeling safe, in myself and more importantly in my relationship and with more awareness of self than I’ve ever had.
Beautiful Space offers wellness programs for individuals, couples, women and ongoing integration support. Prices range from £1990 – £5990. All sessions are subject to a mental health assessment and psychological screening.
This article is intended for informational purposes only and does not promote or encourage drug use or any illegal behaviour. Psychedelic drugs, including those discussed here, are illegal in many countries and should only be used in accordance with the laws and regulations of your location. Always seek professional advice and support from reputable clinics and professionals before considering any form of psychedelic therapy.